Lego Blocks, Optimized Selves and Paul Kalanithi
May 3, 2025
8 min read
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Newsletter
{Body}
The spine as a stack of lego blocks
Your spinal column consists of 33 lego building blocks called ‘vertebrae’, each one stacking nicely on top of the last.
Unlike legos, though, your vertebrae are not locked in place — from the low spine up, each one can comfortably move in six directions: forwards and backward (x-axis); left and right (y-axis); twist left and twist right (z-axis).*
Properly stacking these vertebra results in quicker and larger energy transfer between your mind and body — think of an unkinked garden hose that allows for unhindered water to flow through it. This means more alertness, greater control and improved intuition.
* Moving comfortably is the goal, anyways. Despite the fact that many of us have very immobile, sticky spines, it is possible have more freedom through a stretching, breathing, and meditating practice.
{Mind}
Reconciling your two selves
Last week we explored Kahneman's concept of the two selves that exist within you: the experiencing self that lives entirely in the present moment, and the remembering self that crafts your life's narrative.
The question then becomes: which self should you optimize for? Your present-focused experiencing self that feels every moment of pain and pleasure? Or your story-writing remembering self that will carry your life narrative forward?
There's no universal answer.
Optimizing for your experiencing self leads to more present-moment happiness — less pain, more pleasure — but can generate a life story without depth, challenge, or the meaningful chapters that create a sense of purpose and accomplishment.
Optimizing for your remembering self on the other hand might create a life that looks impressive in retrospect — one filled with achievements, adventures, and "Instagram-worthy" moments — but is disconnected from the present. You might find yourself constantly sacrificing today's joy for tomorrow's story, climbing mountains purely to say you did. Life can become a series of photo ops, leaving you with beautiful memories of moments you never fully inhabited.
So is there a way to satisfy both selves simultaneously? Yes, through what we might call peak-end engineering.
One trick is in “designing” experiences with intentional peaks and satisfying conclusions. Your average, relaxing beach vacation (pleasing your experiencing self) can be elevated with one extraordinary adventure (creating a peak for your remembering self). Your grueling workout can be made worthwhile by focusing on the dopamine release during its peak, and being present with the tasty fruit smoothie you drink afterwards.
Mindfulness also offers another path to reconciliation. By bringing full awareness to present experiences — especially uncomfortable ones — you transform their nature. The intense heartache from a breakup becomes mere data spikes rather than emotions to avoid feeling.
The wisest approach, however, might simply be conscious alternation — sometimes prioritizing experiences that serve your remembering self's need for meaning, other times honoring your experiencing self's desire for ease and joy. This balance allows both selves to thrive, creating a life that's both pleasant to live and meaningful to remember.
{Soul}
A human incarnation can only really be considered “fun” or “interesting” to the degree by which one can contemplate their existence, trying to make sense of things.
The slow morning, the ambitious attempt, the wild concert — seen in isolation, these experiences mean nothing. Through reflection, they are rendered significant.*
But what is there really to reflect upon after an entire day spent playing World of Warcraft? How much introspection is needed after listening to podcasters complain about politics for two hours straight?
Scientists understand that meaningful patterns emerge from trial and error — experimenting again and again, continuously tweaking one’s assumptions and generating new hypotheses.
Life can be seen like this, too.
If you wish to discover your individual purpose, experiments must be run. A lot of them. Fast ones, slow ones, safe ones, risky ones. It is only from these diverse experiments that data can be compiled, intense analysis undertaken, and the Truth revealed.
* (By the way, just because an experience “means nothing” does not imply that it is in any way bad or unimportant — only that it is useless to study.)
April 27, 2025
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